I’ve been mustering up the courage to write this post. I didn’t even know where to begin.
I have not been myself.
I have been in a state of limbo.
I’ve known for a while, but I pushed it aside.
Until I crashed.
A tidal wave of emotions hit me two days ago as I poured my morning coffee, said my daily prayers and looked at myself in the mirror.
“I am depressed.”
My threshold has been crossed. I feel a dark cloak of negativity draped over my shoulders, weighing me down, sucking the light and happiness out of myself, my loved ones, and the world I live in. How do I tell my loved ones? How do I tell my husband? Am I over-exaggerating?
People are right when they say there is something freeing about saying it out loud. The moment it was said, I sobbed.
I cried again when I told my family.
And again when I told my husband.
But I instantly felt a rush and immediately after, a lull. What now? What am I going to do with this information? What’s the next step?
I told myself over the past few days that I will not let it control me, but that it HAS to be dealt with.
I will seek the professional help I need. But I will also pull myself up. I know I am strong. I know I have the courage to face it. I have not gone through all of this turmoil to give up.
Faith over fear.
It will not be easy. It will be hard and gruelling. It will be something that is on my mind at all times, while I continue plastering a smile to face the world.
Step by step, I will conquer.
Wake up. Get dressed, and make the bed. Simple habits daily, I know will bring me routine and satisfaction. It’s wild to me that such little habits can make or break your inner peace.
“Stay true to yourself -“ Is what I say to myself, thinking about the little girl who found so much joy in music, singing and dance.
“You know what brings you joy” – I say as I sit in my work station surrounded by machines and gadgets that help bring my creativity to life.
“You are who you are, for a reason, and there is nothing wrong with that.” – Reminding me of all of the trials and tribulations that have brought me to this moment. I am not defective. I am going through … A LOT.
I have put a brave face on to help my loved ones, but now, it’s time to help myself.
Here’s to my next step. Here’s to today, and tomorrow.
I’ll end off with a bunch of FREE resources to get you tackling your chaos today.
Always remember that you’re not alone, and we’re all in this battle of life. You are competent enough to face your turmoil head-on. You just gotta take the first step.
Please note, that the information provided by TheWorryingWife, or through links to other sites, is not a substitute for medical or professional care, nor should you use the information provided in place of a visit, call, consultation or the advice of your physician or other healthcare professional.
This blog is a means of connecting and sharing experiences through grief and anxiety and how to manage at home during times of uncertainty.
Please seek the advice and help you need from a medical professional in order to best tackle your own personal struggles and challenges.