You will never “get over” the loss of a loved one. You simply – learn to live with it. Rebuilding yourself around the loss. You will never be what you were before the loss. Nor should you want to be.
I can guarantee that the loss of your loved one brought you to where you are today. Grateful for life. Grateful for the little things. Unable to tolerate the senseless conversations other’s who evidently never experienced loss have with each other.
I know – it’s frustrating.
I personally am tired. Of having to explain the simple concept that “it’s only been 9 months since he passed”. I am exhausted of plastering a smile on my face when all I would rather do is feel every emotion inside of me. Anger, sadness… fear.
I fear of life being cut short.
Evidently genetic – the strain of cancer that has taken away 6 members from my paternal side.
I fear of having to experience again what I’ve already experienced with other members of my family. It’s soul crushing having this beat away in your chest day- in and day-out.
With that comes a fear of making the most of my life. Of accomplishing things as soon as possible because I don’t want any regrets.
Obviously this leads to a lot of built-up pressure. A lot of additional weight added to what I find already overwhelming in life.
I miss him. I miss turning to him for advice.
This post is a little bit of a “vent-post”. I wish I had the answers to feeling better. I strive to have consistency and order in my life of chaos but lately it feels like the more I push for order, the more chaotic life gets. So – I’m just going to breathe. I relinquish control.
I am going to settle down with my affirmations and start fresh, today. In this moment.
My grief does not define me. Neither does my anxiety. Neither does the fact that I have bad days.
Bad days come to reset our perspectives. My bad days always finish with gratitude for a thousand little things I was too far gone to notice earlier in the day.
Acknowledge your grief, but don’t let it set up shop for life. It’s always going to be there. We’re never going to just “forget” about what happened. We will probably think about it at least 10 times a day for the rest of our lives. But take what you can from grief. The gratitude of understanding how important certain aspects of life are – while at the same time weeding through the good, the bad and the ugly to keep only what will bring you peace in life.
I’ll end off with a bunch of FREE resources to get you tackling your chaos today.
Always remember that you’re not alone, and we’re all in this battle of life. You are competent enough to face your turmoil head-on. You just gotta take the first step.
Please note, that the information provided by TheWorryingWife, or through links to other sites, is not a substitute for medical or professional care, nor should you use the information provided in place of a visit, call, consultation or the advice of your physician or other healthcare professional.
This blog is a means of connecting and sharing experiences through grief and anxiety and how to manage at home during times of uncertainty.
Please seek the advice and help you need from a medical professional in order to best tackle your own personal struggles and challenges.