They said I changed A lot. I said, A lot changed me.

If we look carefully we can see that the earth is in a constant state of change. 

From the leaves on trees that change each season to the clouds that shift shapes above us. 

Remember that change is inevitable. 

We change. We learn and painfully grow into a person that has witnessed change all around us. The people, places and things that bring about change in us –

The good, the bad, the ugly – it all coexists so that we can change and be better…

So that the next time change happens, we’re able to get out of bed and continue growing.

There is no doubt that life has brought me to the point I am at today for a reason. From learning hard lessons at a young age to encountering grief and having my first year of marriage be a rollercoaster of emotions.

You’re right. I changed.

Every ride I take on the rollercoaster of life, I come back to the platform a different person. I like to believe, it’s as a better person.

Grief has taught me the importance of good people around me. My attention to detail of how others speak tells me quickly how much I can open up to someone – if they, themselves, will understand where I am coming from.

However, I often find myself jealous of people who haven’t gone through the hardships I’ve encountered in my 25 years. Someday’s wishing I was still in bliss to the realities of life. That’s not to say I have it bad. Or that my struggles are worse than any other person. Every single one of us has hardships that are teaching us exactly what we need at that moment in time. But still – you can’t help but feel that your changes seem to be happening quicker than everyone else’s around you.

So how can we grow from that mentality? I, like many of us, seek a constant sense of control. Unfortunately, there isn’t much in this world that is under our control but working towards little things holds ourselves accountable to the changes in life around us.

I spoke about this with some dear friends this weekend. With my anxiety through the roof most days I get to the point where I feel as though I have lost all control of my own body. However, the little steps I can take will often bring back that sense of control that I crave. I can control my caffeine intake for example. Instead of being hyper-sensitive and jittery after 3 or 4 coffees a day, I stick to one in the morning. I can control my reactions (even though I still slip up). I can control how I listen to the words of my loved ones. It takes training and a whole lot of self-discipline but understanding your own capability can control your anxiety allowing you to build a better relationship – a changing relationship – with yourself, and in turn a better relationship with loved ones.

At the end of the day, I am grateful for every hardship. Every night I spent crying myself to sleep. Every heartache and panic attack. Because of all of that, I am who I am. And I change every day a little bit more. I changed when I met my husband. I changed when I moved back home. I am (obviously) different from the 22-year-old who went to Germany to find myself. I changed again when my father fell ill – and again after he passed. I changed the very next day when my husband received his papers for Canada. When he moved here on December 31st.

Change is terrifying – but again, inevitable. Take the time to acknowledge the changes in your life. The changes in you. Make note of why things changed, while observing how and what your own reaction was to the change.

My biggest piece of advice – allow your own experiences to guide you – it’s never about attaining a specific state but rather about not getting caught up in our own thinking every second of the day.


I’ll end off with a bunch of FREE resources to get you tackling your chaos today. 

Always remember that you’re not alone, and we’re all in this battle of life. You are competent enough to face your turmoil head-on. You just gotta take the first step.

20 pages of prompts, trackers, and questions to bring you back to your core!
Start your month off right – get it down, pen to paper what you hope to accomplish!
Break down those pesky barriers that have been holding you back from finding the inner peace you deserve to feel!


Disclaimer:

Please note, that the information provided by TheWorryingWife, or through links to other sites, is not a substitute for medical or professional care, nor should you use the information provided in place of a visit, call, consultation or the advice of your physician or other healthcare professional.

This blog is a means of connecting and sharing experiences through grief and anxiety and how to manage at home during times of uncertainty. 

Please seek the advice and help you need from a medical professional in order to best tackle your own personal struggles and challenges. 

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