“Your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment and abuse are unacceptable. Your anger knows you deserve to be treated well, and with kindness. Your anger is a part of you that LOVES you.”
Take in, I came across this on Twitter. (S/O to Lyndsey Gallant’s therapist)
I’ve touched on my own defensive anxiety before but these words just sum up everything that I’ve felt insecure about for majority of my life.
Over the years I have come to control my anger – in specific situations. There’s still a long way to go through. Controlling your anger at work is an easy task in comparison to controlling your anger with your loved ones.
My anger towards my loved ones – when I snap and unleash everything – is a different kind of anger. It’s one that’s mixed with hurt. These are, after all, the people who I love the most, the ones who are supposed to understand why I may be saying things, or doing things a certain way.
I know now that I can’t expect anyone, regardless of how long they’ve been in my life, to understand why I may be freaking out. It’s unrealistic to think that they’ll give me a get out of jail free card just because they know I’m having a bad day – when they as well, have their own worries going on.
It’s up to me, and me alone, to understand why I have this reaction, and to learn how to not jump to conclusions and snap.
I also know that my anger isn’t always bad. Sometimes it is fighting for me. It’s actually me screaming at myself that some form of injustice is happening. After all…#LibraGang.
Anger is that unapologetic friend you have that doesn’t put up with anyone’s nonsense.
With that being said, we can in areas of injustice – frame anger as a healthy response to what is happening or being said around us.
Maybe I’m overanalyzing but I truly believe, in the past 6 months – I have never been healthier when it comes to acknowledging my mental health. I make a conscientious effort to focus on myself – while appreciating my loved ones. I opened new doors for myself and I couldn’t be more pleased.
I’ve stopped trying to “teach” those around me what they should be doing to not set me off and attempted to teach myself instead.
Remember that you are more than your mental illness, or the trauma that you’ve been through. You can’t ignore those things but you also can’t let them define you.
I hope this pandemic – if nothing else – has given you the chance to be with yourself. It’s not a productivity contest – and bad days are inevitable – but if you see the opportunity to take a deeper look at yourself, take advantage of that because more often than not, our day to day lives and worries cloud our ability to take a step back and look at the whole picture.
I mentioned yesterday in my post on Instagram how grief mixed with anxiety is a toxic cocktail – and I truly believe that. If you don’t work hard every single day, you will crumble.
Keep your head on your shoulders and don’t give in to every worry your mind tells you to have.
Don’t forget that you have control over it – and not the other way around.
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