“If you spend your time hoping that it doesn’t rain tomorrow, you are wasting your time. Your thoughts don’t change the rain. You will someday come to see that there is no use for that incessant internal chatter, and there is no reason to constantly attempt to figure everything out.”
If this paragraph from Michael A. Singer’s “The Untethered Soul” doesn’t make you take a step back and begin to think about your incessant worries, that take over almost every second of your day – then I consider you being well along your self-care journey – and that, on its own, deserves a huge congratulations!
For me on the other hand – this quote awakened that little voice inside my head. My “internal chatter” is probably the most annoying thing on this planet. She does nothing but keeps me up at night, and make even the simplest of tasks unbearable.
As was discussed in the book – imagine trying to sit down and finally put your legs up after a long day to watch a movie. You’re getting comfy, maybe there’s a glass (bottle) of wine on the table…maybe there’s some pizza on the way…but wait…here comes your internal voice to sit on the opposite end of the couch. You welcome them, make some space for them but then they start talking. Like non-stop. You roll your eyes. Does their mouth ever close? Do they ever just stop to take a breath? If you’re like me then this would drive you crazy – pretty sure you would kick them out, or go to another room within 10 minutes.
So why do we do this to ourselves?
Unfortunately, I’m still trying to figure it out. But I can fill you in on how to, at the very least make that dreaded voice simmer down and not be taking over every few moments of inner peace we have.
Why The Grateful 8 –
A. it sounds cute …. &
B. I’m honestly so grateful to have found EIGHT ways (that work for me) to stay on top of my worries, making every day just a little bit easier to get through!
Working on even just one thing from this list will give you the opportunity to see a different positive momentum in your life that will hopefully help you along in your journey!
1. Mindset is everything
Let’s get back to basics. We all know this. We’ve heard it a hundred times over. But still…we do it for a bit, feel good, and get back into our old habits. From the moment you open your eyes, your mindset determines what kind of day you will have. Even when you’re having a bad day (it’s bound to happen) – your mindset will determine just how bad your day will actually get.
I’m not a big fan of ONLY thinking positively – because my worries sometimes help me foresee challenges. But using reality to see things in a more logical perspective is definitely more useful than twisting reality to see every single bad thing that could possibly go wrong and mentally exhausting me.
2. Gratitude is not reserved for good days only
In fact, I think it’s 1000% more useful to practice gratitude on days when you can’t see the positivity around you. As someone who is grieving – this is something I have come to learn is very useful to healing. I’m not talking about putting a band-aide on everything.
I’m not saying that if you’re going through trauma and hurting that it’s useful to say “…well it could’ve been worse…”
Your trauma and your pain are real even if somebody somewhere has had it worse than you. There’s a fine line in almost everything we say and do in life. What I am talking about, is making an effort to practice gratitude on a daily basis. Including on the days, you don’t feel like moving out of bed. I love to write down the things I’m grateful for – it really makes me think about how my life is playing out at the moment.
3. That being said – find what works for you
There is no cookie-cutter solution to anxiety, grief and healing. We’re all so different that there can’t possibly be a copy+paste shortcut. Listen to yourself – not everyone enjoys writing. Maybe you go for walks without your smartphone to have some time to yourself. Maybe you have a 30-second dance party when no one is looking. Whatever it is – your body, mind (not the annoying voice part) and soul are telling you to do it. Trust me.
4. Set intentions
I can’t emphasize this enough. In my Self-Care Workbook, I dedicate a whole page to setting intentions. These are kind of like goals – but sexier. What intentions do you have for the day – for the month – for the year? These are the guiding principles or quality goals by which to structure your life and well-being around. They are often easy to come up with (“I intend to live a kinder life”) but difficult to narrow down. Think of things that will make you happy – or of things that are no longer serving a purpose to your life and roll with it. You have got to be willing to hold yourself accountable. This is why things like planners or workbooks are key to helping you stay on track.
5. Don’t forget about yourself
Never allow yourself to get so busy that you don’t have a minute to breathe on your own. I mean it. As important as your job, and all of the 700-trillion other things you have to do are – all of it is for nothing if you are unhappy and not taking care of yourself.
Seriously, if your boss is TOXIC for your mental health you need to find another place to work – you don’t have control over their actions and words, but you do have control over your own well-being.
I know that it isn’t easy for anyone to do. I know that not everybody will have the option to walk away from jobs that give stability to their life…Maybe it’s just one of the things I was taught by my parents growing up but keep in mind, there are so many of us on this planet, and all of our days are numbered. I could never imagine taking time away from being with my loved ones, only to work somewhere for 40 years that was destroying my mental health. At the end of the day – how can I care for my loved ones if I can’t fight for my own well-being. Nobody is going to do it for you – it’s on you to make sure that you are doing okay and fighting the good fight.
6. Let it out
If you’re like me and hypersensitive… sometimes you just can’t fight it and have to let it out, my dear. Personally, it’s often my defence mechanism. I have tried for years to control it – and have succeeded to a certain degree, but I also know how helpful it can be. If you need to feel your emotions, let it out. That’s not to say that you sit there and cry on the job or you let it all out on someone who probably doesn’t deserve you screaming or crying at them. I literally will just pull myself away from a situation, cry it out in my room – or the bathroom, for 5 minutes and then compose myself and carry on. Holding all of that nonsense in literally does no good for anyone. Approach it with what works for you. Blast your music in your car and let it out. Write 17 pages – FRONT AND BACK and let it out.
7. D E T O X
You are missing out if you are not detoxing from social media at least once a week. Hide your notifications and just be without it all for an afternoon – or a whole day. Sounds like a daunting task right? Trust me, your inner self will thank you. Social media, as good as it can be for our lives, can also mentally take its toll. From negative news to unrealistic Instagram models, all of these things, if we allow it to surround us, will destroy our ability to again approach reality logically. Behind every picture (even my own) there are 50 other variations they had to delete because “oh..my arm kinda looks like a hot dog”.
8. Make (all of the above) a habit
Replacing negative habits with positive ones is so helpful. Again logical, but we forget to do it. Figure out what isn’t working in your life – the negative factors, the phrases, the tasks, even the goals that have left a negative impact and weed through it. The more often we practice the stronger we get, and ultimately…the quieter that stupid little voice gets.
If you would like to grab Michael A. Singer’s “The Untethered Soul” jump over to my Self-Love Shop! It’s totally worth a read!
Need more motivation? Want the tools I use daily to keep my worries in check? Scoop up my Self-Care Workbook -instantly downloadable after purchase!
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